“El cabrón” (“The asshole”) - English-

You´ll think that the name by which I´m known is due to my appearance of a goat. Well, if you think so in Spain you´re totally wrong but you´re missing very little. Perhaps, before explaining why, it would be better to start by presenting the nature of my being. I am a spirit. Yes, no kidding, I am. I do understand your disbelief, but even if you don´t believe it, there´re may spirits swarming around you and all with different aptitudes. For instance; there´s the fire one, the nature, the wind, also my colleague Dioni, the wine, which is likeable but no one caught him sober. There is also the water, the land and, as you may know, a very long etc …
In my case, what I like the most is to mess up relationships. Yes, I cannot help it. Is just seeing a happy couple and my mouth watering thinking about how I´m going to make an absolute mess, how do I do it? Well, slipping into their consciences.
I whisper to some to suspect that their partners are unfaithful until the paranoia makes them breaking up. I make others to think of the co-worker rather than their wives. There are some who are persuaded with an idyllic and platonic love which they will never find. I deceive many of them into thinking of being more wonderful than they are and I urge them to leave their partner, so that they then crash into the reality and end up moping around completely repentant.
There are buddies who I dupe so that when they see themselves in the mirror, they think that they are Adonis and despise everyone else because they are not up to their excellence. Of course, when in the end they see that they do not even hook up with a warty witch, they end up wandering around dark places sprinkled with neon lights … Friends and Family? Oh, definitely yes, nobody escapes from my Machiavellian plans. Some, I confront each other for money, others I make them to seduce a friend´s boyfriend, to some others I provoke them to discuss about politics, religion or whatever comes to my mind. The fact is to piss them off because, like it or not, I´m happy with that.

But do not judge me wrong because I love twisting life, please. I just do and enjoy it a lot because basically, besides my physical, I am an asshole, a tremendous and authentic asshole. So you know, keep the secret since if you don´t, I´ll be always able to whisper something into the conscience of your partners, and you will not want that, will you? Yes, I´m just imagining you denying it energetically.
Although thinking about it, you have not options because I´ll piss you off anyway. Do not forget that, only I decide when to make a mess, and have no doubt that I´m preparing the next one. Will it be you? I don´t know, but if I were you, I would not be too calm, heh, heh.

Pepe Gallego                                  Translated by Ariadna B.Alonso